i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
