allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
