I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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