I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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