just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
