I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
