I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
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