I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
