I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
