I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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