we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
