She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
