SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
im six kinds of drunk right now
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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