Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
