The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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