Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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