??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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