I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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