I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
then he tried to convert me to islam
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
