Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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