You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
