oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
