Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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