Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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