the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
no. you can't hotbox the world.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
