pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
We need to get me chipped asap
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