my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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