Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
