Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
