i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
