I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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