Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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