we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
