I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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