People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
