you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
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