i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
