If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
So squirting runs in the family.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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