so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
