She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
