Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
