woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I have already put on my inside pants.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
