Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
love makes seman taste better
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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