i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
