she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
