i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
