i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
