If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
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