shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Drake has all the answers
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
