it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
